Before it Falls Apart
by SocialDeception
Summary: Leon finds himself saved by the one person he never imagined being saved by. Krauser x Leon S, Kennedy.
1. Broken

**Disclaimer**: I (sadly) do not own Resident Evil, Leon or Krauser. They belong to Capcom.

**Warnings**: Slash, yaoi, general angst.

i know it starts out slow, but I'm hoping people will still give it a chance. Feedback is greatly appreciated :)

...

Leon knew he was dying.

There couldn't be a coming back from this, especially not when he was stuck here all alone, he knew that.

Deep down.

In a hospital, probably, but not in a ditch in a foreign country, surrounded by Ganados, and God only knows what else. He cursed himself weakly for being so careless. He had just been so thirsty, and the waterfall too inviting.

_Too loud, too, apparently. _

He snickered humourlessly, but quickly gave a sharp cough when the blood bubbled up from somewhere deep inside him.

He hadn't heard the Ganados before an axe was buried deep in his side.

He had always somewhat prided himself with his instincts, instincts which had saved him in Raccoon City, so maybe his arrogance finally got the better of him.

He rolled himself over on his back with a grunt. The exertion made the world tip and swirl, and sparks flew in his peripheral vision. He felt dizzy and nauseated. But most of all angry with himself.

He didn't want to die. At least not like this. He hadn't had a fairty-tale fantasy of dying surrounded by children and grandchildren, his line of work didn't come with a guarantee of a peaceful end, but at least something better than this.

_ I did save Ashley though,_ he thought. _I did my duty._

His hands dug into the cool earth, and he tried to fix his gaze on the stars above him. A strange calm came over him then. Acceptance, even.

_Maybe this isn't so bad._

His eyelids kept fluttering, and his chest felt heavy, like it usually did right before he fell asleep.

It wasn't uncomfortable.

_Easier than falling asleep,_ he though, before he drifted into unconsciousness.

...

He was flying. Floating. Drifting.

_Or... Something._

He tried to open his eyes, but the light stung his eyes. The world moved in waves. Gentle waves.

_Is this dying,_ he quietly mused. _Is this it?_

His hands hung weightlessly by his sides, but there was definite pressure under his back and knees.

_Is someone... Carrying me...?_

Leon drifted off again.

...

When he came to he was surprised to find himself in a bed. The bed sheets were cleaner than the ones he'd seen in the village, but not exactly up to his standard. He made a strange gargle at the thought. He had more pressing matters to worry about.

He tried to raise his gaze from the bed to the actual room, but ended up just pressing his eyelids back together with all his might. The light made him light-headed, his pulse showing in his line of vision, creating a strange, rippling effect on everything around him, like a fun house mirror.

Nausea rose up in him again, so he kept his eyes closed.

He tried to tune his ears, but heard nothing, except the familiar sounds of the river that seemed to surround this whole place.

_I must still be in the village then._ The realization made his heart sink.

He had been silently hoping that they had found him. Found him and brought him home.

_Home._

Tears stung his eyes, but he didn't have time to dwell on it as he could hear the sudden sound of a door slamming somewhere below him, followed by footsteps.

_Someone is here!_

Adrenaline rushed through his body, and his pulse pounded in his ears as he heard someone walk with heavy footsteps up a staircase, getting closer to where he was lying defenseless and alone.

_Keep calm!_ A voice inside him demanded. _Control your breathing!_

He decided to obey and forced himself to take long, slow breaths. It calmed the ringing in his ears, and he could feel his pulse slow a bit.

The light dulled, as if someone was leaning over him, Leon hadn't heard anyone approach him, which surprised him, considering how heavy the footsteps had sounded coming up the stairs. He wanted so badly to open his eyes, to lock eyes with whomever loomed above him, but he didn't.

Instead he kept his breathing slow and steady, until light again flooded over his face.

Whoever it was had left.

Leon opened his right eye just a crack and found the room empty. Dizziness didn't overpower him now, so he got a quick overview of the room. He was in a bed along the wall, a small wooden staircase in the other end of the room leading down somewhere. A window was directly in front of him, halfway blinded with a ragged curtain.

It didn't give him much.

He cursed himself for not coming with Ashley when the helicopter came for her, too stubborn to leave any unfinished business behind.

A familiar sound rose from the room underneath, interrupting his angry internal monologue. A crackling sound, like fire, followed by the inviting smell of bacon.

His stomach both churned and rumbled, as the thought of food equally disgusted and enticed him.

Leons eyes starting darting around the room, desperately trying to find an escape route. The window was his safest bet, but he wasn't sure if he'd make the jump.

_Or the walk over to the window itself._

The sound of someone coming back up the stairs disrupted his planning and he quickly closed his eyes and resumed the slow breathing.

Someone was there again. The light flickered as someone soundlessly crossed the room, and he could smell firewood as someone stood by his side.

"You might as well open your eyes Leon, I know you're awake."

_That familiar gruff voice, but...?_

Leon opened his eyes, and tried to look at the man who now was seated in a small chair next to the bed, his fingers caressing that all too familiar knife.

"Krauser... But I..."

"Killed me?" Krauser offered with a smirk. "No, not that easy, I'm afraid. Looks like someone did a number on _you_ though." He pointed his knife towards Leons abdomen, who immediately put his arm protectingly across the aching wound.

The pain as his arm brushed against the tender flesh made him squirm and close his eyes again.

"Why did you save me?" Leon asked through clenched teeth.

"Believe it or not, comrade, I need you."

Krausers voice had that dangerous edge to it, even though the tone was friendly enough.

_Like a purring tiger,_ Leon thought, bewildered and slightly amused.

"The gig is up. Saddler and Wesker both want me dead, and you might be my only ticket back to the states"

Leon tried to laugh, but the coughing made it sound more like a sharp bark.

"You don't _need_ anyone, Krauser. You've never _needed_ anyone your whole life".

A flicker of emotion crossed Krausers face, but his eyes were cold when he answered.

"You don't exactly earn boyscout points for kidnapping the Presidents daughter, you know".

Leon fell silent. Made sense. The man who kidnapped her could easily get back in with the man who saved her. Maybe Krauser would force him to make up some bullshit story on how they had worked together all along.

The chair creaked as Krauser got up and stretched.

"I made food" He didn't wait for Leon to respond, but moved across the room, less cat-like now that Leon was awake, and descended the staircase.

Leons stomach churned again. Bacon wouldn't sit well in his stomach.

His fears were not justified, because when Krauser returned he had a tray with a small bowl of clear broth, a glass of water and thin slices of toast.

"I didn't know you had it in you" Leon said weakly as Krauser helped him up in a half-sitting position and put pillows behind his back.

"You'd be surprised" Krauser simply said and put the tray in front of him. "Just don't expect a sponge-bath."

Leon gave another bark-like laugh before shakily grasping the glass of water offered.

He took small sips, but he still gave quiet half-gasps between each sip, as if he was drowning.

Krauser didn't say anything, just observed him quietly with his brows furrowed.


	2. Smashed

Leon had finally fallen back asleep, but fever had made his skin slick with sweat, and his dreams uneasy.

He kept moving his head from side to side, moaning and making incoherent, breathless pleas.

Krauser was still sitting in the chair, still watching him.

His knowledge of wounds had saved Leon from death when he found him, but without antibiotics he had no other option than to just wait it out.

Leon had to fight this one alone.

He should be out patrolling the area. For all he knew the Ganados were out there, closing in on them, but he couldn't get himself to leave Leons side.

It wasn't just the need for Leon alive either. Leon had that part right. but Leon had saved Krausers life once, and some inexplicable sense of loyalty kept him there.

_Stupid,_ Krauser thought. _You've already tried to kill him twice, and here you are, watching over him like a loyal dog._

He stretched his legs out and crossed them on the edge of Leons bed, his pose relaxed, but his senses on edge.

He didn't even know why he was worried. The Ganados were no match to him. Not even Saddler.

_It's Leon,_ that treacherous voice inside him hissed. Y_ou could take them on by yourself, but not while protecting him._

Krauser frowned and shook his head.

_Ridiculous._

Leon stirred in his sleep and Krauser resisted the urge to feel his forehead, intent on proving that voice wrong.

He pulled out his knife again, stroking the blade thoughtfully. He was a resourceful kind of guy. He'd gotten out of worse situations than this, so why this determination on saving Leon?

A sigh escaped him, but instead of dwelling on his intentions he just leaned back further and eyed Leon with a deep furrow on his forehead.

...

_Leon! Don't die! Don't you freaking die on me. Fuck, come on. Breathe. BREATHE!_

Krauser awoke with a gasp and looked wildly around the room before orienting himself, knife drawn and heart pounding.

Leon was fast asleep, he had a slight sheen from the fever still, but his sleep seemed deeper now, more relaxed.

Krauser quickly composed himself and put on his familiar mask of annoyance. He played that role so well, so why change it?

He had fallen asleep in the chair, and his body felt oddly stiff. His joints even creaked when he got up to stretch, something that he rarely experienced. Especially not now, with that strange virus in his body. He seemed to metabolize quicker, heal quicker, he sure as hell didn't creak in the mornings. Yet that nightmare had disturbed him in a way that few things had. Krausers lips curved in a slight frown.

Flashbacks to those breathless minutes leaning over Leons pale body, trying desperately to get him breathing and stop the bleeding, stitching him back up as well as he could was the last thing he needed.

He moved his neck from side to side, and relaxed when his body felt like his own again.

He grabbed Leons wrist harshly and felt his pulse, and almost breathed a sigh of relief when he found it strong and steady.

_Good,_ he thought to himself. _Good._

_..._

When Leon awoke it was almost dusk. He felt rejuvenated, albeit a bit light-headed. It didn't stop him from putting his feet on the floor and shakily standing up.

The rush of blood to the head made him sway a little, but he grabbed ahold of Krausers chair and forced his eyes shut while he waited for the world to stabilize.

_Stubborn,_ he thought to himself.

Still, he needed to use the restroom, and there was no way in hell he'd ask Krauser to get him a bedpan.

Each step he took made his muscles ache, but at the same time made him feel better too. Like he could really beat this thing.

Once he reached the staircase though, he realized he would need Krausers help after all. Maybe not to fetch a bedpan, but the combination of a steep staircase and his increasing dizziness didn't seem like the best idea, considering.

"Krauser?" Leons voice cracked, and he hated how weak and vulnerable he sounded.

He could hear movement downstairs, and pretty soon Krauser stood at the foot of the stairs.

Leon was about to say something, but the fatigue finally got to him and he slumped down on the top step.

It was amazing how quickly Krauser moved up the steps. Maybe time moved differently in a feverish mind, but Krausers arms were around him before he even had time to blink.

Being carried down the stairs felt kind of awkward though.

Leon weakly clinged to Krausers shoulders, unsure where to place his hands, each attempt feeling intimate and... Strange.

"Let me guess, bathroom?"

Leon nodded, feeling self-conscious about the whole thing now. Krauser didn't say anything else, he didn't even crack a smile, but carried him over to the little door that went into a primitive sort of bathroom.

...

When Leon came back out, Krauser was sitting in front of the fireplace in a sunken down loveseat. He had something in his lap, but he quickly put what looked like a small piece of paper away in his pocket, before casually grabbing the firepoker to stir the fire.

The heat of the fire, not to mention the familiar and comforting smell of firewood drew Leon in, and he sank down next to Krauser, not saying anything for a while.

Krauser didn't seem to mind the silence, and for a while they stayed quiet, until Leons stomach growled loudly.

"Hungry?" Krauser motioned half-heartedly towards a closed-lid pot hanging over the fireplace.

"A little" Leon admitted sheepishly.

Krauser got up and went into the small kitchen, returning with two bowls. He placed them next to the fire while he ladled thick hearty stew in each bowl, handing one silently to Leon.

"How did you find me?" Leon asked, before digging in.

"I heard them talk about leaving you for dead,so I decided to..."

Krauser stopped for a second, just enough time for Leon to interrupt.

"... Finish the job?"

Krauser gave a humourless laugh and shook his head.

"No, we were partners once. Figured I owed you at least that."

The answer surprised Leon, but he didn't press the subject.

They had been more than just partners. They had been friends. Sharing quarters at the academy meant getting to know each other.

Leon learned that behind the indifferent mask Krauser was in fact highly intelligent and very determined. He set a goal and had the resolve to see it though, scoring far higher than most others, despite his knack for getting into trouble.

Granted, his reputation for being a lone wolf didn't score him much points with the other guys, but Krauser didn't seem to mind.

They had spent a lot of time together. Leon smiled weakly at the thought of the trouble they had gotten themselves into at times, not to mention...

Leon shook his head, as if it would help clear his thoughts, and resumed studying Krausers face again. It had always had a hard edge to it, but the scar made him look downright intimidating. He didn't even look like the same man anymore.

_It's a wonder he didn't lose an eye._

Leon followed the scar with his eyes, from Krauers eyebrow to his lips. It had just barely missed his eye, but got most of the left side of his face.

Krauser turned to him and smirked, the side with the scar not quite responding to the expression.

_Nerve damage,_ Leon thought to himself.

"You want to touch it or something?"

_It?_ Leon thought wildly, _does he really..._

"The _scar_". Krauser added, smirking at Leons bewildered expression.

"What? No! Why would I...?" Leon turned his gaze towards the fire, stiffly staring at the flicking light, taking great care in not looking at Krausers face.

"Since you're staring at it. Just thought I'd offer."

Krauser laughed again, that deep throaty laugh that seemed to make all girls in his vicinity giddy.

"I'm sorry. It's just... It's an impressive scar"

"I'll be sure to thank the person giving it to me"

"I want to thank _you_ though" Leon said quietly. "For saving me"

"Think nothing of it comrade. I'm sure you'd do the same for me".

Krauser smirked again, no doubt because he realized that Leon probably wouldn't have.

In most circumstance Krauser wouldn't have saved Leon either, he'd personally tried to kill him, after all.

Strange, all of it. He still couldn't give an answer to why he saved him, but he liked hiding behind the pretence that it was old comradery.

Leons thoughts seemed to take a similar route, so they resumed the silence.

...

The fire started dying, and Krauser leaned forward to toss some extra logs on the fire, the old battle scars on his muscular forearms illuminated by the flickering lights.

The knife fight had happened so quickly, it had been all reflexes, anger and fear. Leon hadn't had time to study his old bunk mate.

He looked older. Hardened. Marked not only by scars, but a change in character.

Krausers greyish blue eyes had always had sort of a hostile look to them, but now they seemed almost...

He didn't have time to finish his train of thought, because Krauser got up and motioned to him to be quiet. Leon couldn't hear anything, but Krausers hightened senses obviously did, because he quickly tossed a bucket of sand over the burning ember.

He grabbed Leon by the arm and pulled him towards the pantry in the kitchen.

_Really?_ Leon thought to himself. _That's__ your plan?_

He didn't say anything though, as Krauser didn't give him the chance to question his ideas.

The pantry was small, and the two men were pressed against each other. Krauser was taller than Leon, so Leon found himself pushed up against his neck.

Krauser must have misunderstood why he swayed, because he put an arm cautiously around his waist and held him closer, probably in fear of him passing out and alerting whoever prowled outside their door.

"They aren't clever" He hissed in Leons ear. "If they come into the kitchen I doubt they will think to look here. If they do though, stay back and let me handle it"

Leon nodded, and unconsciously rested his head on Krausers hard and broad chest. The slow and steady movement of his chest had a calming effects on Leon, whose own heart beat wildly and sickly in his chest.

They both froze when they heard the front door slam open, and as on cue they both stifled their breathing

Leon wasn't fluent in spanish, but he suspected Krauser was, because when the Ganados spoke, Krauser paid close attention, hardly breathing, hardly moving.

His eyes narrowed, and Leon looked up at him just as he pressed his lips together.

Despite their vulnerable position, Leon found himself looking at the scar again, mentally picturing himself tracing the jagged line from Krausers cheek down to his lips.

Leon shook his head lightly. _The fever must be messing with my head_, he thought haltingly to himself.

He looked back up at Krauser, and found that Krauser was looking back at him, no doubt wondering why he was shaking his head.

_Maybe he thinks I'm having some sort of seizure,_ Leon thought, and he almost had to stiffle a laugh. His smile confused Krauser, but he gave a confused half-smile in return, before resuming his intent staring at the pantry door.

_In here, so close together. Just like..._

_Focus, focus, focus,_ Leon interrupted himself, as he could hear heavy breathing on the other side of the pantry door. The Ganados were still muttering incoherently to themselves out there, and sometimes they could hear them knock things over. Every time they got close to the door, Krauser tensed up, unconsciously pushing Leon further and further away from the door, shielding Leons body with his own.

After some breathless minutes they finally heard the front door slam shut, and faint sounds of the Ganados leaving the area. Krauser gave a sigh of relief, but didn't move his strong arm from Leons waist.

"It might be a trap" he murmured into Leons ear, his warm breath leaving goosebumps on Leons cool skin. Leon shifted his position ever so slightly, unwittingly pressing his body closer to him, pretending not to notice the look on Krausers face as he did.

With so little distance between them, Leons mouth were just an inch or so away from the sensitive flesh of Krausers neck. He could see his pulse, and for a second he almost longed to close the gap between them and place a kiss right where his pulse-

Leon shook his head again, forcing his eyes open all the way, trying to wake up from whatever was wrong with him. They had some history, but this was ridiculous.

_He tried to kill me,_ he argued, but another part of him chimed in. _He also saved you. Tended to you. Not to mention what happened that night..._

Unaware of the war in Leons head, Krauser leaned forward a bit so he could peek out the small crack in the door, a movement which Leons feverish mind took as an advancement. Just as Krausers face was parallell to his, Leon leaned in and tried to kiss him, passing out as his lips brushed against the corner of Krausers mouth.

...

Krauser didn't feel safe enough to light another fire, and he had forgotten just how cold the nights here could be. Not that if affected him much, but he worried a little about Leon.

He had boarded up the outside as well as he could, hoping it would trick any reminding Ganados into thinking it was abandoned. He then moved a heavy cabinet in front of the only window he left untouched to use as a makeshift door before moving upstairs where he had already put Leon to bed.

_The only bed in the house,_ Krauser thought to himself. _This is exactly like one of those Lifetime tv-movies I'd rather break an arm than sit through._

He didn't want to admit to himself that he had taken a lot longer boarding things up than necessary, using his hands kept his mind off Leon, and whatever had happened in that pantry.

He had more important things to think about, like the safety of the house they were in.

He still didn't feel safe there, but he figured he would wake up if any of them tried to break in. They had to get out of here, but with Leons fever rising again, they wouldn't get far. They would have to wait until the fever broke before moving on. The window by the bed was easily opened, so he could take Leon and climb on to the roof if they did come.

A mental imagine of King Kong carrying Ann up the Empire State Building made him snicker to himself.

As a final measure of safety he pulled a bookcase in front of the staircase, before sitting down in the chair next to Leon.

_I don't know why I even bother,_ Krauser mused. I_ wont get any decent sleep in this chair, and I need to be at the top of my game tomorrow._ He looked at the bed again. It was small, but not that small. He was sure he'd fit, especially with Leon practically in a coma.

He sighed, and carefully inched his way into the bed, trying not to move Leon too much.

Their combined body heat would do well in this cold too, he argued to himself, still trying to justify his irrational behaviour.

In his sleep, Leon rolled over and put an arm around Krauser, leaning his head on Krausers outstretched arm.

_Figures,_ Krauser thought to himself, but he made no attempts to move him.

Strangely, it felt kind of nice being close to him like this, but he tried not to dwell on that fact for long.

Despite the long day he'd had, he didn't feel tired, not even while listening to Leons calm and regular breathing.

Although his line of work had him in dangerous situations all the time, he suddenly felt weary of the whole thing. He was tired of fighting, tired of killing, tired of watching his back. For once he was looking forward to getting home, wherever that might be.

Krauser wasn't one to worry too much about the future, physical appearance, or anything else, but he had been noticable even without the scar, and with it it would probably be damn near impossible to keep a low profile in the states. Hell, anywhere.

He sighed.

He still felt twinges from the scar every now and then, but it was a bittersweet kind of pain. The kind of pain that kept him in line. Kept him remembering. _Kept him sane._

He hadn't wanted to share that story with Leon.

But still, he might be able to find a quiet place he could call his own. Most of his old friends thought he was dead, and he wasn't sure he'd want to change that. He was better on his own.

_Alone, but not lonely, isn't that what they..._

Leon moaned in his sleep, interrupting Krausers thoughts, but in turn giving him something else to brood over.

All he ever did seemed to trace back to Leon.

Krauser thought back at the knife-fight between the two. A mercenary fulfilling his duty, his feelings in a turmoil.

_Rage, resentment, regret..._

God, how he hated this.

This line of work had been an excuse to act, not think. Thinking is what got him into trouble. As a soldier, a mercenary, he had all the excuse in the world to be left alone.

_Enough now_, he thought wearily to himself. _Enough._


	3. Wrecked

It was cold when Leon awoke. He could see his breath in the air, and he pulled the blanket up towards his chin. The room was empty, but he could hear muted movement downstairs.

He felt weak again, the wound pounding slowly.

What really had him worried was that his skin felt hot and sticky with perspiration, while his insides felt like they had been replaced with ice.

_Please dear God. Please don't let a freaking infection do me in,_ he thought desperately.

What he knew about infections told him to lay down, keep still, save his strength, but something deeper told him to get up and get moving. Fight hard to beat this thing.

He groaned as he sat up, clenching his side as if he needed to hold something in. He wasn't even surprised when his hand came up bloody.

A slow groan escaped his clenched teeth when he pulled off his shirt to inspect the damage, every movement weak and slow, black spots dancing in front of his eyes.

The blood had soaked through alright, but the wound didn't look too bad when he peeked in through the gap in the bandage.

The cold air felt good against his warm skin, and he sat there for a while, his head tilted back and his arms by his side.

A sudden sound made him snap his head back up, a movement that had the world spinning, only to find Krauser standing there with a strange look on his face.

"Feeling better?" His voice didn't betray him, and showed nothing of the strangeness his face portrayed.

"No, it's like my internal thermostat is broken."

Krauser sighed and crossed the floor to feel his forehead.

"I think it's lower than last night. Uh... Do you remember anything from yesterday?" Krauser asked, with a strange intensity in his voice.

"Yesterday?" Leon touched his forehead weakly, his brow creased. "No? Should I?"

Krauser shook his head and almost seemed relieved.

"We had visitors. Ganados. We acted like every blonde in a horror movie and hid in the closet instead of going up the stairs."

They both laughed at that and for a moment it was like they were back at the academy.

...

The room was small, with two narrow beds and a small dresser that also served the purpose as a bed table on each side of the room. His bunkmate had already claimed the right bed, a worn canvas knapsack slumped against the dresser.

Leon looked around and wrinkled his nose a bit, not exactly impressed by the industrial feel of the room, but then again, what did he expect? This wasn't The Four Seasons and he wasn't here to slack off.

He dropped his backpack on the free bed and sank heavily against the wall, suddenly tired from the long trip. His neck was stiff too, and he moved it tentatively from side to side, trying to relax his muscles. He was prone to tension headaches and a headache was definitely not on the list of things he needed tomorrow.

He reached a slender arm across his chest so he could rub the tightness in his shoulder, and as his fingers found the little knot his head fall against the wall and he let out a relieved sigh.

Someone by the door cleared their throat just then and Leon jumped up, not just from surprise, but embarrassment. It wasn't like someone caught him masturbating, but it still felt oddly intimate.

A tall, muscular man leaned casually against the door frame, a slight smile playing in the corner of his lips.

"So you're my new bunk-mate then?" His voice was gravelly and gruff, but not unfriendly.

"Uh, I guess so." Leon got up and reached his hand out. "My name is Leon. Uh, Leon Scott Kennedy"

"Krauser." His grip was hard, and Leon tried not to let his face show the discomfort. "Jack Krauser"

Leon sat back down on his bed and watched as Krauser walked over to his knapsack and unpacked. He was impressive, Leon had to give him that. His biceps strained against the fabric of his shirt as he put a stack of pants into one of the drawers. Leon secretly hoped they didn't all look like this here, or he wouldn't stand a chance.

A few strands of Krausers slicked back blonde hair fell into his eyes, but he didn't seem to notice, he was far too concentrated on a piece of paper crumpled in the bottom of his bag.

"So... Uh... What did you mean when you said I was your _new_ bunkmate?"

The furrow between Krausers brows smoothed out a bit when he turned to Leon.

"Huh? Oh, right. I had some... Uh... disciplinary issues and they moved me. I guess my last bunk mate didn't appreciate my sense of humour..."

His voice trailed off, and he focused on the paper again, which Leon guessed was his disciplinary papers, warning him of the outcome of any repeated offenses.

Figured he'd get a troublemaker, but Leon said nothing, deciding instead to follow Krausers example and unpack. Not that there were that much to unpack. He had kept it simple, just a few article of clothing and a few books.

"What do you say we hit the town, kid? Celebrate your first day here?"

Leon turned to Krauser, who smiled his most disarming smile.

_How could he say no to that?_

_..._

Krauser had changed a lot since that evening. He used to laugh a lot. A dark sense of humour, sure, but friendly and always willing to go looking for trouble. They had been best friends then.

The new Krauser had hard eyes, even when he laughed. There was a darkness in him now, a hollowness.

But he supposed it came with the territory, being a soldier and a mercenary. Leon guessed Krauser had seen it all.

But who was he now? Back at the academy they were inseparable, joking around and drinking. A lot.

Leon almost grinned at the memories of all the trouble they had got themselves into. Krauser proved to be a master of deception though and his first disciplinary violation turned out to be his last. At least on paper. It was a miracle they both went through with honors.

But even during those years, Krauser had never talked about his family, he never went anywhere during the holidays and he didn't have friends over.

"So... Do you have someone waiting for you in the states?" The words escaped his mouth before he even thought it though.

Krauser got that little half-smirk again.

"You mean like a girlfriend?"

"Or like a bo-" Leon coughed. Probably best not to annoy the man on purpose. Krauser didn't seem offended though, just amused.

"Nope, no one is waiting for me." His tone devoid of feeling, his face a smooth mask again.

"What about you?"

There was no apparent curiousity in his tone, but when Leon met his gaze there was something there, hiding behind the mask of indifference.

"Me? No. I mean, family and friends. Nothing else" He swallowed heavily, trying not to wonder if the people back home were worried about him.

...

After a bit of food and a makeshift shower he felt better. Almost human again.

They hadn't found any clothes in the cabin, but Krauser left through the unboarded window to wash both their clothes in the nearby river.

When Leon came out of the bath Krauser was shirtless, wearing his baggy camo pants low on his hips while hanging their clothing out to dry. Leon swallowed hard with guilt when he saw the reddish scar across Krausers chest.

"Your shirt still has tears in them, but I guess we can't be picky" he said slowly, his mind someplace else.

Leon couldn't imagine putting his hands in the icy water in the river outside, the lukewarm water he had washed himself with had chilled him to the core, and judging by Krausers wet hair he had taken a dip in the icy river along with their clothes.

Leon hurried over to the fireplace and pulled the sheet he'd used as a towel closer around him, his teeth chattering.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I tried to leave the window open as little as possible" Krauser came up behind him and rested a warm and heavy hand on Leons shoulder.

"It's not your fault" Leon whispered, leaning on the armrest of the couch, trying not to focus on the tiny water droplets still on Krausers skin.

"We should get going tomorrow. I know it's too soon, but being here is too risky." Krauser sat down next to him, pulled out his knife and polished it slightly on his thigh.

"I guess they took your guns, because you had none on you, but you can have my TMP. I prefer my knife and bow anyway."

Leon didn't answer.

The thought of going outside was almost physically painful. It had felt like they were on an isolated island in a way, left alone from the world, and apart from the wound it had felt kind of nice. Kind of like old times.

...

"Hahaha, damnit Leon, get over here!" Krausers laugh ricocheted off the dark walls in the alley and Leon tried to follow the sound of his voice, disoriented and dizzy.

"If they catch us here they will kick us out!"

More laughter.

Damnit, why was it so hard to determine where the sound of his voice came from?

Leon halfway leaned on the wall as he tried to hurry along the dark alley, looking in the small walkways leading deeper into the darkness., trying to find him

"Here, comrade" a voice hissed in his ear, and strong arms pulled him into the darkness just as a couple of military police officers headed into the alley looking for them.

Leon was about to say something, but Krauser clamped his hand over his mouth before he got a chance to.

"Any sign of 'em?"

"Nope. That great big brute shouldn't be hard to find though, keep looking".

Krauser and Leon laughed soundlessly, still hidden in the shadows, shaking with both laughter and excitement.

...

"I better start packing so we can leave at dawn" Krauser said "Afraid there isn't much here to bring, but better than nothing."

Leon just watched him apathetically while Krauser laid out some canned and dried goods, two military issued water canteens and ammo.

"We'll just have to make it work" Krauser said slowly, more to himself than Leon.

"Have you checked the rest of the village?"

"Yeah, this is all the food I could find" The crease was back between Krausers eyes. He was worried. Leon wasn't sure he'd ever seen Krauser worried, so it didn't exactly ease his mind.

"Anything I can do?"

"Just get better" Krauses lips curled in a humourless smile.

...

That first night outside the compound had been the start of a long standing tradition where Krauser and Leon would sneak out to have a drink or four.

Late one spring evening they went out drinking, as usual, but as a celebration this time. Their last week was coming up and in their excitement they lost track of time. It was very late when they climbed the fence to the compound, way past their curfew and headed for definite trouble if they were caught.

Krauser always knew the best way to remain hidden, calmly sneaking from tree to tree, bush to bush, until they finally reached the outer wall of their two-story housing.

The sharp sound of a door closing made Leon jump, but before he had a chance to ask Krauser anything he had already grabbed and pushed him against the wall, warningly putting a finger on his lips to keep him quiet.

It would have been a lot less scary if the sky wasn't clear and cloudless, the moon so bright they could make out every detail of the compound.

_No place to hide._

Leon was sobering up now, and fast. With that came the realization of just how much trouble they were really in. They both reeked of alcohol, Leons hair full of leaves from an unfortunate incident with a bush earlier and Krausers shirt torn from barbed wire.

Leon didn't even know where to start explaining it if someone came.

Krauser had his wrist pinned and when Leon looked up at him he saw that the taller man had a smile on his face, carefully looking around the corner of the building.

Another door slammed and Krausers expression changed, desperation and amusement flickering through his eyes.

"Someone is coming" Krauser warned, but stopped Leon when he tried to run.

"No point" Krauser whispered, and Leon knew he was right.

The building was long and narrow, and the door was on the short end, being on the long side they simply had no time to get around the corner even if they ran, and there were no bushes or open windows to take pity on them.

"Do you trust me?" Krauser suddenly asked, his eyes gleaming wildly in the moonlight.

"Uh... Sure, but wha-"

Krauser didn't let him finish before he hungrily pressed his lips to his, forcing Leons body against the wall with his own, still clasping his wrists.

Leons knees felt weak, not just from the alcohol, but the sudden wild-fire blazing through his body.

He reciprocated the kiss, forgetting all about where they were, whimpering with pleasure as Krauser used one hand to grab Leons hair as he deepened the kiss.

They finally pulled away when the sharp light from a flashlight illuminated their faces, followed by a surprised cry from the rookie who were on patrol.

"W-What are you doing out of bounds, soldier?"

"Don't ask, don't tell, isn't that what they say?" Krauser winked at the flushed soldier in front of him, knowing fully that he wouldn't report it. Krauser might not have the other soldiers friendship, but he had their respect.

"Fuck you, soldier. If I ever catch you out here again, I'll-"

Krauser laughed that hoarse laugh again.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry, soldier" He patted the dumbfounded soldier on his back and led Leon towards the doors to safety.

"What did I tell you, eh?" Krauser winked at Leon, seemingly unaware of Leons bewildered and flustered face.

...

_Last night in a bed for a while,_ Leon thought, staring at the ceiling. Yet he felt too restless and confused by the rush of memories to fall asleep.

He didn't even notice Krauser had come up the stairs until he was next to the bed, his eyes bloodshot and tired. He sank into the chair next to the bed, the chair creaking in protest.

"I think I got it all ready" He said, rubbing his eyes with one hand. Then he fell silent while he tried to find a comfortable position in the chair.

"This is silly. The bed is big enough for both of us" Leon said, inching towards the wall so Krauser could lay down. "I guess" Krauser yawned "I sure as hell wont get a decent night sleep in this chair or that couch downstairs"

He got up, stretched and pulled his shirt off and tossed it over the armrest of the chair.

Leon looked slightly uncomfortable as Krauser slipped under the covers, but relaxed once he was covered up. Their shoulders and thighs were touching, but it didn't feel weird, like when you accidentally brush up against strangers in the subway.

"So..." Leon started, feeling Krauser tense up next to him. "I've been thinking about our last outing at the Academy. Do you remember?" He could feel Krausers body relax again as he laughed.

"Our first time getting caught? Sure, how could I forget?"

The light was fading fast, so the darkness hid Leons deep blush.

"I always wanted to ask if..." His voice faded.

"If that kiss was the real deal?" The tone was amused, but his voice had a serious edge to it.

Leon didn't say anything for a while, too embarrassed to even nod.

"Well, you did look cute with leaves in your hair..." Krauser teased, coaxing a small laugh from Leon.

Krauser moved a little, leaning on one arm while looking down at Leon.

"You can say a lot about me, Leon, but I'm not one to do things I don't want to do."

"So it wasn't the alcohol?" Leon wanted to curse himself for sounding so desperate, but Krauser just snickered.

"Well, sure." He continued quickly when he saw Leons wounded expression. "They don't call it liquid courage for nothing. I mean, I never knew where I stood with you and our ways were parting. I had to give it a shot"

Leon fell silent for a while, looking down while Krauser searched his face with his eyes.

"But you never tried anything again. Not even during the Javier mission"

Krauser snorted.

"Did you?"

Leon knew he was right. He had been too scared to try, Krauser had such a dismissive air about him, the thought of rejection kept him from it.

But now, Krauser pretty much admitted to having feelings for him.

_Well, in the past, at least._

It still made Leon brave enough to silently and carefully place one shaky hand on Krausers face, slowly moving his fingers to the jagged scar across his face.

Krauser didn't say anything, his eyes guarded as Leon traced the scar from his eyebrow down to his lip.

Leon looked up at him, questionably, but Krauser stayed silent. There was something almost wounded in his eyes, and Leon gave him a reassuring smile as his fingers traced the outlines of his lips.

Krauser grabbed Leons hand and kissed his fingertips before forcing his arm over Leons head.

Confusion crossed Leons face, no doubt wondering if he had crossed the line, but Krauser simply didn't do well with being the receiving part.

As soon as he had Leon pinned like he wanted, he leaned down and kissed him, the spark reigniting after so many years.

Krausers lips felt the same as that cloudless may night, setting Leon ablaze again, squirming to be freed from Krausers strong hands, longing to touch him.

Krauser didn't ease his grip on him, instead parting Leons legs with his knee, and pressing his hips to Leons, carefully so he wouldn't touch Leons wounds with his upper body.

Heat spread from Leons groin, clouding his thoughts, acting on that burning feeling alone.

"I want you" he panted between fiery kisses, Krauser low chuckle teasing him, their hips ground together in a slow steady rhythm, making Leon dizzy with longing and desire.

"Jack, please..." Leons pleas made Krauser press against him harder, less careful this time, making Leon moan against his mouth. He loved hearing Leon use his name like that. He let go of one of Leons hands, moving it instead to Leons hair, grabbing a fistful and holdning his head steady while he left a trail of heavy kisses down his jaw until his lips and teeth found the sensitive flesh on Leons throat, making him gasp and moan. Krauser murmured something against Leons hot skin, and the sound of Leon almost choking on his own moans made Krauser harder, biting and sucking his skin more eagerly, enjoying the way Leons free hand pawed on his shoulder, trying to pull him down closer to him.

A sudden sound made Krauser abruptly pull away from Leon, causing him to whimper from the sudden stop of stimuli, still trying to pull him down. Krauser seemed unaffected by Leons advances, staring stiffly out in the room, his mind once again a soldier, not a lover.

"We gotta go", he said fervently. "Leon, we have to go NOW!" He got up, not looking at Leon, pulling his shirt on, fastening his belt pouch and grabbing the backpack he'd have the foresight to bring up with him.

Leon scrambled out of bed, trying his best to pull his torn shirt and jacket over his head.

"Mind telling me what's going on?"

"They are coming" Krauser opened the window and motioned to Leon to follow him, pushing the TMP into his hands, while adjusting the bow to his own back.

...

The cold air hit them both like a wall, their breath hanging in the air like clouds. Still, no time.

Krauser closed the window behind them and started climbing soundlessly up onto the roof. He then turned around, reached down to Leon and pulled him effortlessly up next to him.

Leons teeth were already clattering in his mouth, despite his thick winter jacket, and Krauser pulled him closer, keeping their heads low while he stared into the distance. Despite the biting cold Krauser was just wearing his black shirt, his skin still warm.

"I see them." Krauser gritted his teeth. "At least fifty of them, heading this way".

Leon didn't say anything for a while, just staring at the flickering lights coming in closer, weighing his options.

They could fight. Maybe. At least for a while. Krauser was good with a bow, good with a knife, hell, even good in hand-to-hand combat. Leon was good too. At least when he wasn't fighting infection. Which led them to option two and three. Hide. Or run.

"We make a run for it" Leon said, and turned to Krauser, who was pinching the skin between his eyes, no doubt coming to the same conclusion himself.

Krauser didn't say anything, just grabbed Leon and lifted him up before jumping down the two story house. Leon gasped as they hit the ground, although Krauser landed softly on the ground, the impact was still hard enough to hurt his insides. Krauser on the other hand seemed unfazed, he didn't even say anything, just let Leon out of his embrace before grabbing on to his hand and running.

Bushes and low hanging tree branches whipped Leons face, but Krauser kept running forward inhumanly fast, as if he didn't feel them. Leon had no other choice than to just hold on for dear life and let himself be pulled along for the ride. The terrain was unfamiliar to him, but Krauser seemed to know the way,

"Let me know if you get tired" Krauser said through gritted teeth. "I can carry you, but I don't know how fast I can run like that".

Leon didn't waste breath answering, just ran as fast as his legs could move him, not even thinking.

He could see ganados in the trees around them.

At first he thought it was the fever playing a trick on him, but his heart sank when Krauser tightened his grip around his hands and it dawned on him that what he saw was real.

They already had them surrounded.

He gasped and ducked out of the way as a hand-sickle suddenly flew by his head, hitting and lodging itself in a nearby tree.

He could hear Krauser curse under his breath, but he didn't slow down.

_"¡No dejes que se escape!"_

One appeared right in front of them, trying to force Krauser to change direction, but Krauser just shoved him out of the way, not even flinching when the villager cut his arm.

Leon could feel the rush of air as another sickle flew by them, missing them by a few inches.

A large body of water suddenly appeared through the trees, glittering in the moonlight, and Leon could feel Krauser speed up, encouraged.

Leon heard them before he saw them, a large group of them, waiting.

He was about to call out to Krauser when one of them grabbed a rock and threw it straight at him, Leon tried to dodge, keeping it from hitting his temple, instead hitting the side of his face, making him light-headed.

He cried out something unintelligible, but Krauser had already pushed through them, pressing forward, while Leon frantically tried to blink those tiny black dots out of his field of vision.

_No, no, not again,_ Leon desperately thought before once again being pulled under by darkness.


	4. Gone

There was fire. Screaming. Wet sounds. and heavy thumps as things fell around him.

_Things...?_

He could hear Krauser grunt in anger, more of that wet sound. Something falling like dominoes, making the ground tremor below him.

_It must be people. Not things. Ganados._

Leon felt nausea rise in him as the smell of blood finally registered in his mind.

Krauser once described that smell as a battlefield, but to Leon it just smelled like an abattoir.

He was on his stomach, facing sideways in the dying grass, the smell of blood, earth and autumn heavy in the air, every slight movement enough to tip the world sideways and make bile rise in his throat. His head was throbbing, his skin feeling tight already as it swelled.

_I need to help him._ But Leon knew deep down that Krauser didn't need his help, he was probably doing way better on his own than he ever could with a feverish and wounded Leon tumbling around.

He opened his eyes slowly, scared of what he might find, but there was just grass, the dark outlines of trees and the evening sky above him, cloudless and dotted with stars.

_Just like that night._

He closed his eyes.

_There's that heavy feeling again._

Like he was being pulled under by the earth below him.

The sounds were muffled now, muted. Like it was happening far away, under water. Not even the sound of a crackling fire and the towers of smoke suddenly rising around him managed to shake him out of the heaviness in his chest.

Then he felt greedy hands on him, pulling and pawing at his legs. It didn't even register fully what was going on until he felt a knife split his pant-leg, hitting flesh and a furious growl from Krauser as he pulled someone off him.

Then arms around him, lack of air as he was flung over Krausers shoulder, rhythmic jerking as Krauser ran.

Behind them was only blood and fire.

...

"Leon? Are you okay?"

Leons eyelids fluttered as he focused on the man above him, Krausers eyes for once showing some of the man inside.

"W-What happened?"

Krausers grip on him didn't loosen.

"They managed to knock you unconscious, and they caught up with me." Krauser sighed, his eyes suddenly weary.

"I tried to get them all, but a few of them got to you before I saw."

A faint memory of rough hands and jagged flesh flashed through Leons mind.

"You should have seem them. They came bearing pitchforks and torches. I've never felt more like the village freak" Krauser searched Leons face for a trace of a smile, and was relieved when Leon smiled weakly.

"They finally just set the damn forest on fire, and that's when I made a run for it."

Hesitation.

Then Krauser touched Leons icy cheek with his hand, stroking his thumb over his skin.

"I thought I lost you." He said quietly, his voice thich with emotion. Leon regained his focus on Krausers eyes, surprised by what he found there.

"You're safe now, Leon. They sort of trapped themselves with that fire, and I found a lighthouse. I used the radio, and they are comng for you."

Leon didn't answer, but reached for Krausers hand, intertwining their fingers.

Krauser smiled at him then. Not a smirk, but a smile.

...

The view was spectacular. They were both sitting on top of the lighthouse, their feet dangling off the edge as they searched the sky for the rescue chopper, their hands still laced together.

The ocean stretched in front of them, so still that the sky was reflected, making it seem like they were sitting in nothing but sky.

Krauser pulled him closer, warming him with the heat that seemed to radiate from his skin, and Leon leaned his head on Krausers shoulder. Still weak, but better. Krauser had forced him to sleep, and even had some food ready for him when he woke up. He felt stronger. Happy.

They had shared whispered secrets and stolen kisses the whole day. And up here, all alone, Leon had that feeling again, back on that island, just the two of them together.

"Life is strange" he whispered. "Strange, but nice".

Krauser didn't say anything to that, just fastened his grip around his shoulder, pulling him closer still.

_I could live in this moment,_ Leon thought, _Right here. Now. This moment._

"What happens now?" Leon whispered, knowing fully well he couldn't pause the world and make the moment last a lifetime.

"What do you want?" Krausers eyes were facing the water, guarded again.

"I want us to finally resume what we started." It was nice how easy he could speak the words now. The words that had been stuck in his throat for so many years.

At last Krauser turned to him and placed a hand under his chin so he could tilt it up to his, meeting Leons eyes.

"Done" he whispered. before leaning in for a surprisingly tender kiss.

...

They heard it before they saw it. The rotor blades penetrating the silence around them, whipping up the ocean below them. Their foreheads still touching when a bright light flooded over them, wordless commands drowned by the motor.

"Just like that night" Krauser murmured, before kissing Leons neck. Leon smiled, relieved by the change he saw in Krauser. He hadn't been gone. Just locked away.

"Let's go." Leon smiled "I can't wait to take a long warm bath and climb into a clean bed with you". They got up, facing each other, just staring into each others eyes for a bit, not quite ready to let go.

Then things happened fast. First there was shouting, the unmistakable sound of rapid thumps, followed by a cracking sound.

Krausers eyes were still on Leon, confused for a second before they widened in surprise, a ghost of a smile still on his lips. Then time slowed down as they both looked down at Krausers chest, where blood started oozing through his shirt where the bullets had hit him.

They looked at each other again, a flicker of sadness crossing Krausers face before time caught up with him, and he faltered and fell.

Leons mind went blank, screaming something he could not hear, rushing to Krausers side and grabbing his hand.

Krauser coughed harshly, blood spluttering across his face, his grip on Leons hand weakening, his eyes struggling to keep focused.

"Jack, hang on! Let me-"

Leons voice trailed off as Krauser winced and pulled a piece of paper from a side-pocket, wrapping Leons fingers around it, clutching them.

He was breathless now, his breath catching in his throat as he tried to whisper something to Leon through jerky spasms.

Silent tears ran down Leons cheek as he quietly placed a hand on Krausers face, quieting him.

"I love you too"

Krauser smiled then. One of his rare, special smiles that reached his eyes.

Their eyes locked in mutual understanding, a million things spoken wordlessly between them.

Then Krausers eyes glazed over, and he was gone.

A gutteral scream shattered the quiet in Leons mind, taking a minute before he realized it was his own


	5. Epilogue

The room was quiet.

Leon spent his days either sitting apathetically on the couch, staring into nothing, or pacing.

There were no meaning anymore. His footsteps like the ticking clock entombed in the empty apartment. Time passed differently here.

The counselor had ordered a suicide watch on him, forcing sedatives in him, making the pain dull and unreal. Like he was outside his own grief.

They would check on him four times a day, forcing food in him and forcing him to talk about Krauser.

_We thought he was hostile. The president ordered him dead. He was a wanted criminal._

Leon put a hand over his eyes, his lips quivering.

All their excuses. Useless excuses for a wrong that could never be right.

He could hear their words repeated endlessly in his mind, but none of them made any sense.

They had overpowered him on top of that lighthouse, pulling him back from Krausers body, holdning him down when he started screaming at them. Finally sticking a needle in his neck when he frantically tried to pull Krausers gun on them.

When he woke up he was in a hospital, where a friendly doctor informed him that someone obviously had been taking good care of him, and that he'd most likely be dead were he alone. He had said it to be nice, no doubt, but the words had cut through him like a dagger.

_Jack. You saved me..._

They claimed his body before he could say goodbye. The thought of Krauser lying cold and still in a freezer somewhere, devoid of life, was like a punch to his gut, knocking all air out of him.

Sometimes in sleep he'd still be back there, watching the bullets pierce Jacks body again and again, always too slow and too late to stop it, the sound of shouting and the sudden uproar of the ocean filling his head before waking up by his own screams.

His shaking fingers found the tattered piece of paper Krauser had given him, a photograph Krauser had saved in secret all those years.

In the photograph they were both smiling, happy, one of Krausers arms wrapped nonchalantly around Leons shoulder. Leon let a trembling finger trace the outline of Krausers smiling face, while a choking sound escaped his chapped lips.

Krauser had in just a fraction of a second been taken away from him without consideration or any sort of justification. Just someone faceless following orders. His life slipping through Leons fingers without having the power to do anything about it.

The doorbell rang, piercing the quiet in the room and the ringing in Leons mind. It didn't matter though. It never mattered anymore. Not who came here. Not who he talked to. Nothing.

He got up, his legs still shaking and weak, bending down to carefully place the photograph on the table, stroking Krausers face one last time before walking towards the door.

The doorbell rang over and over with urgency.

_Maybe it's him,_ Leon thought, _maybe he's come back to me._

It was a little game he played with himself every time the doorbell rang.

He'd imagine opening the door and Krauser would stand there, resting against the doorframe, like no time had passed at all. Still smiling, inviting Leon into his arms. No longer pale from death, or with holes in his body.

Just that smiling face from the photograph. From those last moments together.

Leon crossed the floor like in a dream, being drawn to the door and whatever lied beyond its borders.

_Maybe this time it's really him..._

~End


End file.
